


It's Not My Name

by Starryfaris



Series: Soulmates AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29842887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starryfaris/pseuds/Starryfaris
Summary: “I’m sorry but you’re mistaken. I’m not your soulmate.”
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Soulmates AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186595
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	It's Not My Name

**Author's Note:**

> My first soulmate fic, remember y'all I'm rubbish.

Suga loved the concept of soulmates, the day he woke up with the name of the person the universe has deemed his ever after was the happiest day of his life.

It was the morning of his twelfth birthday, as soon as he opened his eyes, he rushed to the mirror in his room. He took his t-shirt off and scanned his body, he didn’t have to look long because he spotted it on his left inner bicep. **_Oikawa Tooru._**

He said the name to himself a few times to hear what it sounded like, now all he has to do is meet his soulmate. He was so happy and he couldn’t wait to meet him.

Suga is a third year in high school, he attends Karasuno and he plays setter for the volleyball team. He enjoys his time in school, especially playing volleyball with his two best friends Daichi and Asahi.

Although it would be amazing to meet his soulmate, Suga isn’t in any hurry. He is content in waiting until fate finds him. So for now he is happy just focusing on school and volleyball.

Oikawa is a third year in high school, he is captain of the volleyball team and he is very popular with the girls. His life is pretty normal except that he’s the only one he knows who doesn’t have a soulmate.

On the morning of his twelfth birthday, Oikawa woke up excited. Not because it was his birthday but because that was the day he gets his name. He hurriedly got out of bed and ran to the mirror. He takes his shirt off to check his body for the name. He checks and re-checks, nothing. He takes off his sweatpants to check his legs. Still nothing.

He yells for his mum.

With tears in his eyes, “Mum, where’s my name?” he pleads

She checks and checks and checks again but there’s nothing.

“I’m so sorry baby, there’s no name.” She holds him

“What?...why mum? why don’t I get one?” he cries 

She holds him tighter, as she whispers “I don’t know baby, I don’t know. I’m so sorry.” She rocks him.

She sits there cradling him until he’s exhausted from crying, he wakes up at midday in his bed and cries again when he remembers. His heart hurts and he can’t do anything about it.

Today is the day Oikawa’s high school volleyball team have a practice match with the volleyball team from Karasuno. He requested the match to gauge how much his underclassman Kageyama has progressed since middle school.

He's taken time off for a couple of weeks so he's looking forward to getting back. He enters the gym to watch his team play Karasuno but the first person he lays his eyes on isn't someone from his team but a boy on the other side of the net.

The boy's silver hair almost shining, drawing Oikawa in like a moth to flame. He doesn’t go over to talk but his gaze falls on the boy more than he would like it to.

As he stands on the side watching his team play, Suga looks over to Aoba Johsai's side and notices a boy warming up, he’s tall and Suga can’t help but think he’s handsome. He tries to focus his attention on the game as he shakes his head of those thoughts. He knows it’s fine to find others attractive but he still feels guilty towards his soulmate.

When the team take a time out, someone from the team asks who the boy was and it felt like time stopped for Suga.

“That’s Oikawa Tooru.” Kageyama answers 

The words echo in Suga’s ear, his heart starts beating hard against his chest. He feels his mark prickle as he looks over to the boy who holds his whole future in his hands. Suga doesn’t realise he’s staring until he’s looking into Oikawa’s eyes, he immediately averts his gaze.

Suga does nothing with his new found knowledge, now that he knows who his soulmate is, he is both ecstatic and apprehensive.

Karasuno have made it to the third round of the inter-high prelims, they face off with Aoba Johsai. Suga has decided win or lose, today will be the day he tells Oikawa.

After a gruelling three match game, Karasuno lose. Suga is disappointed and the loss leaves a bitter feeling in his heart.

The thought of exposing his already raw heart to Oikawa is not something he wants to do but he made a promise to himself. 

He stalks the halls until he finds Oikawa as he gets closer he notices that there’s a girl with him, Suga slowly walks towards him. He stands far enough away to seem inconspicuous but close enough to hear what they’re talking about.

Suga’s heart sinks when he hears Oikawa reject the girl’s advances, said girl runs off muffling a sob. Now his heart is beating hard against his chest, his mouth becomes dry and his throat feels like it’s closing up. He wants to back out but he knew he’d have to do it one day.

Oikawa is standing there with his phone in his hand, you wouldn’t think someone had just confessed to him. Suga tentatively walks closer.

“Oikawa-san?” Suga calls softly

Oikawa looks up from his phone, “Ah Mr. Refreshing.”

Suga doesn’t even register the nickname, he’s too busy trying to remember what he wants to say.

All of it goes out the window because he blurts it out, “I think you’re my soulmate.” Suga quickly says as he tries to show the name etched into his skin.

“Stop...” Oikawa says as he puts his hand up, he then pinches the crease of his brow. “I’m sorry but you’re mistaken. I’m not your soulmate.” He says looking down at Suga

Suga's face falls, he doesn’t know what to say to that, his heart plummets as he stands there frozen. _Why is he saying this?_ He thinks.

“I don’t have a name.” Oikawa continues 

_How is that possible? Everyone has a name_. Suga thinks. He can’t be there any longer, there’s a sharp pain in his chest so without another word he walks away leaving Oikawa standing there.

He's in a state of shock. A million thoughts are going through his mind. _He doesn’t want me,_ is the conclusion he comes to. He gets as far as the corridor before breaking down. His heart hurts. He starts sobbing and he can’t stop. No longer able to support his body, he leans against the wall and slides to the floor. He’s on his knees sobbing into his hands.

“Suga what’s wrong?” Asahi asks, worry lacing his voice. Suga didn’t even notice him come up.

“L-let me go get Daichi.” Asahi says after a minute, he goes off hurriedly and comes back as soon as he left with Daichi.

“Hey Suga, what is it? What’s wrong?” Daichi asks as he rubs his arm

Both Daichi and Asahi look around and see other people walking past.

“Come on Asahi, let’s take him somewhere else.” Daichi voices.

Asahi lifts Suga off the floor, he puts his arm around Suga’s shoulders while Daichi supports his back. They walk to a secluded area and sit down. They both wait patiently until Suga has calmed down.

When his sobs have subsided to a few hiccups, they break the silence.

“What happened, Suga?” Daichi asks, he puts his hand on Suga’s knee.

Suga looks up to meet the eyes of his two worried friends. The tears still streaming down his face.

“M-my soulmate...” He starts sobbing again

Asahi rubs his back, “What about your soulmate?”

“He d-doesn't w-want me.” He chokes out

“How do you know?” Daichi asks, “Have you met them?”

Suga lifts his sleeve up to reveal the name on his skin. Asahi gasps as Daichi’s eyes widen.

Daichi and Asahi have seen Suga’s soulmates name back when their friendship started so it's safe to say that they forgot it because it didn't register when they heard the name before.

“H-he s-said that h-he d-doesn't have a n-name.” Suga says struggling to talk from his sobs.

“What how is that even possible?” Asahi asks

“Maybe h-he just s-said it b-because he d-doesn't want it t-to be me.” Suga buries his face in his hands again and cries.

Both Daichi and Asahi move forward to encase him in a hug, they hold him tight trying to soothe him.

“That’s his loss then.” Daichi says softly. He looks at Asahi, there’s anger on both their faces.

After leaving Suga in the changing room, Daichi and Asahi are walking down to find their coach. Iwaizumi walks by. “Good game.” He says with a small smile

“Tell your captain, he better not come near Suga or he’ll have us to deal with. “ Daichi says angry

Iwaizumi grabs his arm, “Wait, what’s he done now?” he asks 

Daichi and Asahi stop to look at him, “Suga has his name.” Daichi says 

Iwaizumi’s grip falters, “Wait, What?” he assumed that because Oikawa didn’t have a name, no one would have his.

“Yeah and he didn’t have to be a jerk about it. Suga is heartbroken. So tell him, he’d do well to stay away.” Asahi says

Iwaizumi watches as they walk away, he is stunned to silence. He doesn’t know what he can say to justify his friends actions.

Iwaizumi enters the changing room and marches up to Oikawa, the rest of the team have left to board the coach.

“Oi idiot, what did you say to Sugawara?” Iwaizumi asks as he slaps the back of Oikawa’s head.

“Ow Iwa-chan... Who’s Sugawara?” Oikawa asks as he rubs his head

Iwaizumi lifts his hand to hit him again

“Wait Iwa-chan seriously I don’t know.” He winces to brace for another hit

“You idiot, Karasuno’s number two. Your soulmate, the one who’s heart you just broke. What did you say to him?”

“What?” Oikawa asks wide eyed

“Yeah, you always have to be an ass don’t you?!” Iwaizumi says

“I just told him he’s mistaken and that I don’t have a soulmate.” His brows furrow in concern

“You absolute moron.” Iwaizumi says, he looks irritated

“Mean Iwa-chan.”

“Did you think for a minute that he just might be?”

“But I don’t have a name.”

“So what? He has your name. You’re his, why isn’t that enough?”

Oikawa doesn’t have an answer for that. 

“Is it because you didn’t want it to be him?”

“NO, that’s not it?”

“Then why did you reject him?”

“Because...” Oikawa says getting irritated

“Because what?”

“Because he deserves better. What if I didn’t get his name because I didn’t deserve it?” there's hurt present on his face

Iwaizumi’s face softens, he makes to go to Oikawa.

Oikawa sighs, “Forget it.” He says as he walks away.

Oikawa has just got home, his body aches from the match but it’s not the only thing that hurts. He enters his room and slumps down onto his bed. He looks off into the distance as he replays the day’s events. He should be happy that his team won the match but there’s something pressing on his chest and it’s making him ache.

“Tooru, didn’t you hear me calling?” Oikawa’s Mum is standing in the doorway of his bedroom. 

“Sorry Mum, did you want something?” He asks looking up from his bed

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” His mum rushes over to hold him

“Today a boy told me he has my name.” He cries

“What?” she asks shocked

"I was so happy mum... but I acted like it meant nothing...” He sobs out

His mum is trying her best to console him as she strokes his hair. He tightens his hold on her.

“The hurt on his face, He looked so heartbroken. I didn’t want to hurt him mum.” He says in between sobs

“Ssh, I know sweetheart...” His mum says softly. They sit in silence, only Oikawa’s quiet sniffles breaking it in intervals.

“Baby, are you sure he’s not like those girls who only said it for your attention?” His mum asks after a while.

“No... I really think he does.” he exhales 

“Did he show it to you?” she cranes her neck down to look at him

“I didn’t let him.”

“Oh sweetheart, why not?”

“Because I was scared.”

“Scared?” she asks

“Scared to hope. I think I could love him Mum... but what if he doesn’t belong to me”

“Oh honey, but you belong to him... Does he seem the type to leave if something better comes along?”

“No, I don’t think so... I’m so confused, Mum.” He hugs his mum tighter

“Ssh baby it’s ok... just give it time. I’m sure everything will sort itself out.”

Suga is at home, he’s bundle up in his bed. Tears roll down his face as sleep evades him. His heart hurts from being rejected by the person he’s destined for, the sting of defeat is also present. He doesn’t know where he goes from here. He is replaying everything Oikawa said, he’s trying to understand but it hurts too much. Suga knows that he doesn’t want to give up on Oikawa but he wonders how long he will have to wait.

Oikawa thinks about Suga everyday, he wants to know how he is, what he’s doing. His heart yearns for the boy he let walk away. He wishes so much to have Suga’s name.

One day after practice, a couple of weeks after the Karasuno game. Oikawa is in the changing rooms, he's just had a shower. He hears the door shut just as he unwraps his towel and slips his boxers on.

“Hey what’s that on your lower back?” Iwaizumi asks walking towards him.

Oikawa turns to face him, “What? Lower back?... oh my birth mark.”

“No" Iwaizumi says as he stops Oikawa from moving, “It’s not your birth mark.”

“What are you talking about?” Oikawa says trying to see

“Stop moving around idiot.” Iwaizumi says as he grabs his shoulder to turn him. He pulls Oikawa’s boxers down a little.

“What is it?” Oikawa asks apprehensively 

“It’s a name.” Iwaizumi says softly

“What?” Oikawa says tentatively 

“Pass me your phone.” Oikawa takes his phone out of his locker and hands it to Iwaizumi.

A minute later Iwaizumi gives the phone back, Oikawa studies the picture on his phone. The name clearly etched on top of his birthmark. **_Sugawara Koushi_**.

He is both elated and down hearted, he doesn’t know if Suga will accept him after the rejection. But the happy part of him wants to run to Suga right this moment. So that’s what he does, he quickly changes and runs out of school to get to Suga’s school.

He arrives at Karasuno, He enters the gate and starts running around the school in search of the gym. When he eventually finds it. He composes himself before entering. He enters and scans the room until he finds Suga. He walks towards him but Daichi and Asahi get in his way. 

“What do you want?” Daichi asks, arms folded in front of him

He looks over their shoulders to see Suga looking at him, his heart breaks at the downcast expression Suga has on his face.

“I just need to speak to Suga for a moment.” Oikawa says as he tries to move past them.

They stand firm and refuse to let him pass.  
“He doesn’t want to talk to you.” Asahi says

He looks over, “Suga-chan please, I need to talk you.”

Suga is averting his gaze from Oikawa, his heart is still raw and he’s still hurting. He wants so much to go over but he’s scared of hurting more than he already is.

“Suga-chan I’m sorry for what I said, I’m sorry I hurt you. I honestly didn’t have a name, well at least I thought I didn’t so I didn’t want to give you false hope but I do Suga-chan. I have your name.” He says, he needs Suga to talk to him.

Suga is looking over to him now, his eyes are glassy but he looks unconvinced, still he is inching slowly towards him.

“Please Suga-chan, I can show you. Look...” He says as he turns and grabs the hem of his sweatpants.

“Wait, stop...” Suga says, as he moves forward to shield him.

Suga sighs and turns back to look at his Friends. “Maybe I should hear him out.”

They seem to want to protest but they respect his decision, “Are you sure?” Daichi asks

“Yeah.” He says.

“Ok, we’ll be right here if you need us.” Asahi says

He nods his head as confirmation. He grabs Oikawa’s hand and leads him back outside so they can talk. Even though he has a lot to make up for, Oikawa can’t help how his heart swells at the feeling of Suga’s hand against his. They join like they’re always meant to be together. 

Now that he’s here, he doesn’t know what he wants to say. He wants to say a million things and then nothing at all because he is happy just to have Suga in front of him.

After a moments silence, “You want to see it?” Oikawa turns, holding on to his sweatpants.

“No it’s fine, I believe you...” Suga says

Oikawa’s heart aches, he cursed the universe everyday for not having a soulmate but looking into Suga’s eyes, into his soulmates eyes. He’s thanking the universe for making him lucky enough to have Suga as his soulmate.

"I have a birthmark on my lower back, I guess the name was really faint because my mum didn't notice it but it was on there. It's your name Koushi, it's always been your name." Oikawa says hoping Suga forgives him

After processing everything Suga moves closer and takes Oikawa’s hand in his, “I knew you were my soulmate... but holding your hand confirmed it. I know you’re mine and I’m yours.”

Tears start to well in Oikawa’s eyes, he knows he hasn’t spent time with Suga but he already feels like he loves him, he doesn’t hesitate before his arms are around Suga. He hugs him and buries his face in his shoulder.

Suga can feel the tears from Oikawa’s eyes on his skin, tears start pricking at his own eyes. He feels a warm sensation wash over him because he is where he belongs.

“I wanted to accept it, I wanted _you_ but I was scared to hope, I was scared of getting hurt. I’m sorry I hurt you Suga-chan, I’m so sorry.” Oikawa says softly, his voice thick.

Suga’s heart wrenches, he hates that Oikawa has been feeling like this. He forgets about his own pain because now all he wants to do is make Oikawa feel like he’s worth loving, worth the time, worth everything.

“It’s ok Tooru, it hurt when you rejected me but I never rejected you. I would have waited for you for as long as it took.” He comforts Oikawa, rubbing his back.

Oikawa lifts his head to look at Suga, he looks at him lovingly.

Suga brings his hands up to Oikawa’s face and wipes the tears from his eyes with his thumbs.

“You’ll be with me forever?” Oikawa asks

Suga’s eyes brimming with tears, he nods. “All my lives.”

Oikawa buries his face once more, hugging Suga tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I know it's not that good, Tell me how mediocre it was in the comments.


End file.
